The psychology of eating
Do you eat for body performance or as a reaction to abuse?
Eating is not always what it seems. There are many reasons why people eat the way that they do. Prior patterns of abuse will often lead to eating disorders, creating a reaction in order to dull the pain of the recollection of or the present pain bodies. Do any of the following patterns of abuse apply to your methods of eating?
A majority of the abuse scenarios outlined are specific to personal relationships. I will soon be adding parental abuse, since those who enter abusive relationships, are oftentimes needing healing from childhood relationships with an abusive parent.
1. Your abuser will express their dissatisfaction about you publicly to family and friends.
2. Your abuser is incapable of taking responsibility for their part, or in expressing their responsibility to you, and will allow you to apologize for any injustices within a relationship dynamic.
3. Your abuser will push you beyond your limits to remain composed, and then either secretly or outwardly delight in your inability to keep it together. They will then have reasons to use your moment of shame against you for future use.
4. Your abuser will create a distraction in order to pull the attention away from a prior event of poor decision making made by them.
5. Your abuser when feeling cornered will create a barrage of unhealthy circumstances, a declaration of sort, with a superior attitude amidst their poor decision making.
6. Your abuser will make consistent declarations of your worthlessness.
7. Your abuser will deflect any and all criticism whether their behavior is based in facts or not.
8. Your abuser will delight in your failure to remain composed amidst their abusive behavior.
9. Your abuser will blame you for circumstances that they have created.
10. Your abuser will let you know that you are lucky to be a part of their life.
11. Your abuser hasn't the toolset to make you feel safe, so they will make you feel that your lack of feeling safe is perfectly normal, using comparisons between themselves and others people they know who treat their partner in a worse way than themselves.
12. Your abuser will use new tactics of abuse that will make you feel thankful for the old habits of abuse.
13. Your abuser will not accept any form of complaint about them, and will give you something 'more to cry about,' for doing so.
14. Your abuser, when called out for their actions, will deny, deny, deny.
15. Your abuser, even when presented with factual information; in other words, information about their abuse that cannot be disputed, they will not relent in making you feel that you've heard them wrong or that you are making things up, and will go even further when attempting to invalidate your sanity as they call you things like 'crazy,' 'unhinged,' and 'catastrophic.' This is a behavior otherwise known as gaslighting.
16. Your abuser will not want you looking into anything they do. If you are to look into their activities because you suspect they are lying to you, they will get defensive, call you a pryer, accuse you of having no life.
17. Your abuser will lie if ever cornered. You have to understand, they are not acting as a morally upright person in the midst of their lies, and from their point of view, they have no obligation to tell the truth, since they are unable to live in it.
18. Your abuser will find a way out of any conversation by turning the tables. If the conversation gets uncomfortable for them, they will up the ante in their poor opinion of you, or use repetition techniques to further validate their point.
19. Your abuser is well-known for dropping bait for others to be used at a later time as a 'tool' for future abuse. As one of many examples, they will make sure they've made contact with the person they have previously used in their abuse techniques against you. They will summon this person to become their 'tool.' With contact advanced, it lets their 'tool' know that the interest is still alive. This gives their 'tool' hope for attention in the future, and will likely precipitate their 'tool' to return the attention, as this is what the abuser desires. It lets the abuser know that their 'tool' is still available for use.
20. Your abuser is willing to emotionally abuse you through acts of deception, allow you to take full responsibility for the damage created by them while taking no responsibility upon themselves. Since they do not know how to live in truth, they are not capable of believing they have done anything wrong.
If any of the above statements ring true for you, there may be patterns of abuse in your life that have led to eating addictions.
If you are brave enough to continually bring your abusers behavior into the Light, your abuser may realize there is no where to go, once confronted with the truth over and over again. They will not be able to exist in a relationship any longer when you are consistently taking the higher road and presenting factual truth. As would anyone with a modicum of conscious, they will feel burdened with the onslaught of truth and seek someone they feel able to control emotionally, someone who will not question their lies. This would be the day of victory for you.
If you do not stand up to them, and you allow them to manipulate you into believing your reactions to them are not warranted, they win, AND YOU EAT.